A proper guide to killing your pet.
The most common way to “put down” a pet is through intravenous anesthetic. This is where the (hopefully) trained veterinary official shoots your pet up with a nice cocktail of barbiturate such as pentobarbital. While the said pet is unconscious, respiratory and then cardiac arrest occur rapidly. Observers describe the death as a quick and peaceful death...even though they are not the ones dying and if it was them dying, they would probably be really mad at some person who thought it was in their best interest to kill them.
Some people are big crybabies and want to say goodbye to their pet without the pet freaking out and killing somebody trying to escape being killed. To compensate for the big crybabies, the trained veterinarian administers an initial injection which sedates the pet, so it does not freak out when the owner gets all blubbery and emotional, to the point where the animal is a vegetable. When the owner stops caring or has other business to do rather than sit around and hug a now useless and un-fun pet, the nice man or woman with the nice chemicals injects the pet and kills it.
And if you have a large animal such as a horse, or a dinosaur; you need to use more potent chemicals. This presents a problem, because the more chemicals you use means the more the whole process will cost more. In this capitalistic society where more cost means less money, turning your once large pet into a useless carcass is not profitable, therefore not smart and should be done cheaper and more efficiently. Also if harmful chemicals are used in killing your pet, it will make the pet less tasty if you wanted to eat it (you know, if your into that kinda thing).
A cheaper and more efficient way to kill your animal is with the second amendment. This is relatively simple, procure a firearm (bonus points are awarded if you use a crossbow) and shoot the animal. If you have logged a couple hours on your Xbox playing Halo, this is straightforward and requires no explanation. If you are not savvy with firearms, you should practice on the neighborhood kid first, and if practice does not make perfect you should buy a bigger gun, namely a shotgun. It is hard to miss with a shotgun, and it gets the job done. All you have to do is hold it like you see the guys in the movies do and shoot the poor thing. Although the animal might not seem to enjoy it, he is actually thanking you. Arguable the most humane way to shoot an animal is behind the shed, because what happens behind the shed stays behind the shed. Observers describe the death as a quick and peaceful death, yet are usually discredited because they are not the ones who are shot.
Many ways exist to euthanize your poor pet, more officially recognized methods include inhalant anesthetic where your pet is, for the most part, put in a chamber filled with lethal amounts of anesthetic gas are present by your trained veterinary doctor and are are suffocated to death by carbon dioxide (this method is only used for small animals, yet you are still wierdo if you choose this option). Also if intravenous injection is not possible, intracardiac or intraperitoneal injection must be performed. Instead of injecting the anesthetic into the pet's veins, the anesthetic is shot directly into the heart.
In conclusion, you are killing your pet.
